Windows To My Soul

Confusion : Windows To My Soul

by Naomi Tammi Palmer on Wednesday, 16 March 2011 at 15:15

I am a woman in Love

is that it?

right now I am fighting it .. same time I am not looking for any ammunition to fight with .

I can feel from this distance .. and not even looking at peoples  profile .. I feel energies …

I am in this place , I don’t like being , I cannot control it, though in these moments I cannot see my self being any where else .. I cannot describe this place ,, I cannot explain it either .. I do not recognise it . I have never been here before .. the spiritual pull is too much but I keep going .. and the connection is too strong .. I do not know how to handle this .. yet I want to represent the mature woman I am in elevation . but my heart hurts regularly .. can you explain this .

??

I do not like this moment and place I am in now ,, but I cannot walk away from the possibilities just in case. I fear myself and my choices and am carefully treading each step for fear I may die a thousand deaths for making wrong choices .. the foundation I walk on it in cloud 9 sometimes .. but clouds can disperse then I have no grounds ..

??

sometimes I wish I was in a familiar place, for then I would know how to act and react .. but those familiar places are viscous circles , where paths are walked to often and trodden down , knowing before hand where that path leads to even know this is a path that is going to cause me pain  , but because its familiar , we find some comfort in the pain we may receive in the end ..

This path is a new path , I don’t now where its going but its one I am creating on my way . to be in my own energy and representation,, trying so hard not to fall and judge by systems, societies, decisions governed by outside forces .. I have been conditioned to all my life .. aiming to view things in my original energies and expressions .. to create the blueprint , is to create myself ..

key’s to all of this awakening …?

the heart and soul of it all .. ?

I trust you in spiritual energy I connect so strong with ..

Just I knowing earthly situations, wants, needs, etc may cloak , disguise or confuse the energy I see in the possibilities ,. yet I fight with my imagination .. I am different .. I just gotta figure out how or why??.. and its only me that can find that out ?

I haven’t stopped growing in consciousness , I have only just started .. my mind , my thoughts , I don’t know where its coming from .. everything is leading to this moment to create the platform for the next..

but it is in me ? what ever IT is?

though this system, societies ruling and conditioning , I do fall prey to jelousy, anger, rage , and all those vibrations etc ..

that peace???

 

I don’t know

I just don’t want a moment of weakness have me out .. and right now ..  I am on the edge ,, or for the want of better words , a tightrope ..

though I don’t know if I will ever reach my destination .

I don’t even know where my destination is ??

but I know against all the outside forces .

it is the connection we share that is always on my mind, in my heart, in my soul and entire being ..

I don’t want you to know any of this .. but without you knowing  or me saying , you may never see ?

?

I feel vulnerable to the max and want to get off this ( whatever it is I am on ) but any direction other than forward will surely be my failing .. I feel

I want to be quiet now .. but I am compelled to speak …

Love is not a strong enough word for this energy

I don’t know what is .. Sighs .. maybe its not a word in this language .. or in written tones ..

might be why I am struggling here ..

anyway .. moving on .

just to say .. that dreams I have  .. the place’s  I’ve  seen .. where everyone was/is energies .. no defining characteristics .. I felt home there … everything here on Earth is an illusion .. I am getting caught up in ..

it is all a presentation to a government .. what looks good , but its all fake , just excellent systems in the presentation to fool people into thinking they actually want to create change

what ever we do , its got to be real.. though I even fight with that definition now.. Apologies if I am confusing ..

I will just get with the program and plod along until I get a divine spark , or awakening , that may lead me and my direction with more clarity .

and try not to get lost in the processes

I cannot follow .. so I have to plant seed’s nurture and grow my own .. leave a legacy for those who come after me, for my children so they  can seek guidance and receive their awakenings in their own energies with my tools I leave behind ..

thats it ? Maybe?

I have to speak, write and display my mind .. there are so many answers there ,, also I have to remember ..  I don’t want a job and to work for money .. this does not mean I will be lazy , I like the freedom of a volunteer ,, my motives remain pure .. and all is because I  want to do what I do and not because I have to . if I die in this moment , I will die pure in my energies

If I do work and receive money for my work , I  pledge to myself that my work would have to represent my beinG enerGy ..

BeINenerGy


Windows to my soul : Note to Self : Part 1

by Naomi Tammi Palmer on Friday, 03 December 2010 at 13:33

When we take responsibility of our own energies and actions, may we bring balance and correct the wrongs and unite. We have the power to turn this separation around , all we have to do is care !!! bringing compassion and other such energies .. we have to BE the energy. time for talking and perfecting our presentations to the egotistical forces is over !! Time for action, forgiveness of self and others and start caring enough to BE-in{ener}Gy.. ( BE the Balancing forces)

It seems to me its our wants our needs our insecurities and our greeds that is the cause of this pain. cause of the separation, cause of being caught up in our own self importance. the need for status, the need for change in our personal circumstance, selfishness .. even if we live and serve others , ultimately we do satisfy a personal need .. if we forget the balance, and the needs of others, the importance of unity, and respect of precious energies. the state of this planet is what happens when we forget the impact we have on others, it’s only going to get worse if we continue to disrespect.

And we wonder why we get treated in ways that cause us pain, thinking why is this happening to me ?? We are forgetting the time we have caused pain or tipped the balance to the detriment of others energies they share with you.. in our ow self importance we did not see the powerful energies in others..

Therefore we get treated how we treat people fuelling more negativity and selfishness .more separation.. when we think about me, me , me and mine.. we forget to share,we forget to appreciate, we forget that we are attached to every living organism on earth, each as important and significant to another. so if we hurt others we in fact hurt ourselves. We are responsible.. we should take responsibility for our energies, every action has a reaction..

when dreams can be shared as oppose to the separation of yours and mine . that divide and rule mentality!!! will indeed keep the separation far from connection. Universal oneness is an energy much bigger than you and I. Power seeking individuals need people under them. as oppose to need people beside them as equals .. equality brings balance..

This we have been taught to be in the commercial economical world we have grown in when we were in our innocent and most impressionable stages when we didn’t know a difference, yet now we know this information we should accept our part we played in this our reality , we see and feel now!! we should now strive, dedicate and vibrate towards the opposite end of our ignorance. .. bring balance within self and teach this to others, or children, our future to sustain a future for them. it is this energy and knowledge of self and recognition of others energies that will bring changes to the world indeed not just yours and mine , OURS ..

OHHH The possibilities I so love to sit there and imagine hoping thoughts, powers of the mind and imagination can manifest.. .. I know the impossible is possible from some recent personal experiences . if we can ALL put our minds to it.. we are one . and actions of one effect us all .

The only thing constant is change , things change , people changes , energies changes but now it’s time to RE-align ourself with the source that cares..

first we must find that within self ..

( As I speak to you .. to we, I include myself , as a note to self too )

Peace, Love Equality = Balance Maat ..= Changes . xXx

BeINenerGy


Windows to my soul, : Honesty, Fears & Reality.

by Naomi Tammi Palmer on Saturday, 18 September 2010 at 11:49

I am confused, Looking for clarification that I cannot seem to find inside or outside of myself, living with insecurities and a string of wrong decisions in my past that have hurt me deeply and caused me to be wary and apprehensive to what the future brings, although  I would hope I have analyzed them enough to have learn from them so my person history does not repeat itself,   when certain wrong decisions are exposed by our choice of a partner that have caused negativity and pain, how can we be sure we will not make these mistakes again, do we simply stop trying ? give up? Choose to not take a risk in fear that we may get hurt again? Will this person who hurt you always have power over you while you remain a shell and simply exist for the remainder of our days,

I know we are truly living when we can feel our heart almost beat out our chest , when we take the risks that cause an adrenalin that if it is pure , can be so powerful . the excitement in the prospect and possibilities of a power change that can bring you to a new level of existence and growth . and so much more, do we simply give up on that to be safe and simple exist out our days because we are worn out and tired of getting hurt  and falling flat on our faces , or are even too tired to just get up, brush ourselves off and try again,. ???

I choose to live in the love of all, and love of all is within me.  As I am growing I find that I am connecting with people on all different levels, sometimes these levels can be taken out of context and mixed up to the point I can view the connection from many different levels / dimensions.

I also know that people can say all the right words to gain their position and the more intelligent you or I present ourselves , the more intelligent is the one trying to gain their position in your life , be it friends, like mind, or your perspective counterpart. The closer people get the more they connect but is it that there is only one that is to sit on the throne of your universe next to you as your counterpart .  In some traditions it is needed for more than one to fulfill the expressions of your energies,

Have you ever met someone that full fills you in so many ways and you love and value them in the most highest vibrations , yet you seek the vibrations that you recgonise are missing in another that mean no disrespect to the first special someone?

Have you every loved and shared energies with more than 1 person at the same time?

Have you ever been made to feel so guilty for doing something that is so wrong in the perception of another?

Have you ever felt like you have had to lie to avoid hurting someone?

Do you really think that there is one person out there that can fulfil you to a point you do not need another energy like that in your life?  Absolute counterpart?.

Is the absolute counterpart a myth??

Can we get the recognitions of energies/ people who come into our life mixed up between a personal, spiritual or professional capacity to a point we have made wrong decisions? .

My guess is anyone that is true to their selves would answer yes to at least 3 if not all of the above questions.

People come into our lives for a reason a season or a lifetime, its all about the impact they make during that time that can have a positive or negative effect, that will inevitably have a knock on effect that can effect decisions made in the future,  which brings be back to the point of where we are at now.

What do we do NOW!

I know when we are sometimes confused as to what way to go , which way to turn , we become insecure with the level of feeling that we feel for each and every one we meet , thinking have they come to build? or drain? , have they come to link you to gain their position in your network or have they come in all honesty to love the true energies in you,  to accept you for simply being in the energies of you.?

how long will they stay in our life? and what will the impact of their presence? what will the exit be like? should we even let them enter our world ?? should we even look at this vibration in this way?

what ever we tell ourselves we will be correct as we are the ones who manifest our thoughts into reality ( NTP2010)

The ultimate decisions and perceptions all lead back to self, where we need to have a reality check, sometimes we can get so caught up with the flow we can easily get carried away and before we know it we stop to recognize ourself to a point when we do realize we have to jump out the flow and connect back with self and what we want, instead of trying to please everyone, we have to please ourself sometimes.

Remaining true to ourself  reminds us we have the capacity to be true to others.

It is not selfish to think of self and meditate with self because when we do this we are connecting with the higher self in turn this will give more direction when radiating our energies to the world.

I know I need to meditate, as demons have been trying to play with me , called insecurity and jealousy, all because there are a lot of negative vibrations and evilous vibes that have attacked me ad my family of recent. On a survival story I seek to conquer and overcome. Keeping myself and my family intact, trying to bring them through this spiritual storm unharmed and safe.

There has been casualties, everyday the memory of not keeping my eyes everywhere enough to truly see, trying to keep my eye on everything also being  sometimes  so wrapped up in the dwelling of depression and the frustrating wants and real needs that has also been plaguing my mind to a point I get mad sometime with the position I / we are in at this moment.  I can sometimes become blind to what is going on around me, and I can be my own worst critic, and constantly beat myself up for those mistakes that caused my blindness,  We cannot take back or rewind time to change what has already been done, so the pain will forever linger in the devastation and the realization of that truth that not even time can heal..

I am a wounded soldier of love, so much show I have created a barrier around me and my family.  Personally I have locked myself off to certain vibrations that could not only heal me, but can bring me back to life with energies and directions, purpose and fulfillment that is not only going to create a positive effect on me, but standing on a square to create a circle around me of the most purest positive vibrations that will create a ripple in my circle that can only be positive and grow if received in the same purity of when it was radiated .

How can I be sure ? How can I trust? How can I have faith ? How can I believe?

That I have found those pure energies..

I am afraid, as I am getting older my future has no time to make bad decisions, through my needs and frustrating wants that can put me and my family at risk of some potentially harmful situations just because I chose to trust, have faith and believe in the energies that is presented to me that they are the truth, have come to grow and heal not cause hurt and pain for their own ego and gratification.

Those vampirish energies can leave you and your family for dead with no remorse, conscience or consideration for the mess they left behind.

As I step so cautiously into my future I feel like I am going a bit crazy.  I have previously, my whole life poured all my energies into creation and unity that demonic people have just drained for their own gain, leaving me and my family , feeling used, abused and lifeless .

How do we bounce back from that?, without the insecurities that these vampires will not try to attack you again, how do I know I am not looking at a vampire in their beautiful face and in perfect presentation ? just like in the matrix anyone can be a mr smith , anyone can be a vampire or an inequity worker I want so much to love, to build, to pour my energies into a spiritual union , to receive love, and receive all the energies put into me only to build and grow more, to give back,

I will not take a run.. I will not run from this vibration. I will have no need to run away. .

Sometimes we are in the need of love to a point that we overlook the imperfections, I guess this is where the expression comes from love is blind, seeing someone through rose coloured glasses, choosing to see the positivity and then ignoring the negativity to a point that we get surprised when suddenly the immediate need for love is not so strong as the cup has been filled, “The honeymoon period” is over, our sight becomes clearer and we start to see the long term,  although this long term can still be beautiful , the bad habits, negativity, irritations that has always been there  but from the beginning we simply chose not to include these vibez when we chose to love.  Where people start taking people for granted and assumption is the mother of all mess ups. Making an ass-u-me ( out of)

Its only when enough is enough and that union has separated, when the need for love arises again, you/we realize what you/we had in the first place.

Circles ad cycles that seems to lead us back to square 1 where yet again we try to build another circle.. is this circle vicious? or is it that we have just not learned our lessons yet??

No one is perfect, only the perfect people make mistakes and learn from them. < a thought?

We have to learn to accept the good and the bad and instead of falling in love,  learn to grow with it,. Accept all, good and bad as this IS the spectrum of love.. life and living..

It takes a lot of trust, and faith , a belief in yourself that you are able to receive these energies without fear.

The future has not been written yet? We sometimes are scared of change or a difference..

But if we stay the same , our story is repeated, the only forward movement and the escape of repetitive behaviour is to create change and go for it ..  only true way to find the difference in what you know is to go into the unknown …

So there is no writings in stone when we are talking about the future, there is no proof until it has been created, better still if you create such an energy that leaves its mark in history then your presence is immortal,  There are no guarantees when we go into the unknown, to try something new, to push the boundaries of your heart, mind, body and soul,  to then transfer that to a reality is a leap of faith, trust and belief that you are doing the right thing with the purest of energies..

A risk !! A big risk that you hope when you take that leap you will not fall flat on your face that could hurt you more than ever or even be fatal.

Sometimes this causes a conflict with the way we have been conditioned and to the view of today’s society that when you start simply being in the energies of self , other people in their ignorance will look down upon you, will try to force their opinions to say something is not right according to their perception.  When in fact there is no right or wrong way to perceive different situations, like mind some will agree and some will not.

That is the reality, different vibrations that are all equal and needed for each degree of the whole spectrum, we just have to accept each degree and respect that each view has a right to be there, we sort of measure ourselves by other peoples perceptions,  some energies impose their views and ideas more forceful than others and when it seems like the majority is flowing in one direction, or we have been weakened and beat up, beat down by life on our survival story,  we can sometimes be swept away in others energy’s and perceptions , following everyone else without even realizing it, again loosing self in the process.,

We are the ruler and creator of our own destiny. Only we can create our successes and make our own mistakes. When we come to earth we came alone, when we are returned we return alone , what we do with that space in the middle is either our ascension or our demise ..  all is choices and listening to our own conscience to say I something is right or wrong, and being disciplined enough to have self control, only then we can build on our self respect that for me brings a sense of purity to be able to walk the path of truth .

In these vibrations there is also a guilt feeling that is imposed on all of us when we choose to live in the vibration of self. When we are discovering self , we have to push the boundaries to discover if that is a vibration we want to keep or rebuke, Those people do not understand or do not have enough information to be able to understand.

This can cause hurt and pain to others that do not perceive the way you do. Therefore if pushing these boundaries can have an effect on your immediate circle , from when you are stood on your square , communication and truth at all times is the key to trying to protect the feelings of those around you,  we should not limit our growth for fear of hurting those because those in your circle should be on a level enough to know you are growing.  “The only thing constant is change” ( Albert Einstein)  change is when you know you are alive..  only dead things stop growing, we all need  to respect the fact that everyone in your circle is growing also, especially your significant other, your children, your family and your friends..

We are unconditional when we have children as we expect them to grow, allowing them to make their mistakes, As parents our job is guiding them through with love and guidance that better suits them,  though so often there are people, mothers , fathers , brother, sisters , immediate family , friends and counterparts that give advice that better suits them , putting their own feelings into consideration first, because giving advice that suits our children, or seeker means that their life may grow and benefit more without you in it as much as you are in their lives at the moment,

( A couple of things that was said to me a not to long ago that hurt me very deeply when I asked for someone’s help . these people are my nearest and dearest..  I asked for help to do something that meant so much to me , the reply is “ sorry that is your dream, not mine!”

Another one was I asked for support to do something that meant a great deal to me, the reply was “ under no circumstances will I help you,. Because you might just get somewhere with this and it will mean you will not be there for me !” wow !! was my reaction, this was a point when I was on my knee’s .. but it was also a big wake up call. This help and support I was asking for had the capacity to help a lot of people .. to create change is so many lives . including the people I was asking for support from , including mine and my families .. finally I realized the help and support was at the end of my own arm.  Yet I contemplate and my heart aches with this reality..

We have to truly love enough to let our loved ones go into the world of their own experiences, open hands , open heart,  just like a bird to let them fly, being the wind beneath their wings , of they come back that is because they want to , its so much more fulfilling than wrong guidance and manipulation to stop them from flying in the first place. If they fall crash and are hurt, it is our mission of love in purity to collect them and help them to stand ready to fly again..  we should hope that one day they will make it to their destination ,. We should also feel proud that our love was the wind beneath their wings, we can fly so high upon the wings of love..

Should this level of unconditional love be extended to everyone we meet, ??

Or in thinking this do I expose and leave myself wide open to be taken advantage of or taken for a fool?

The person that takes someone for a fool will end up looking a bigger fool themselves because the fool becomes wise in the actions of others..

Adults are grown children with responsibilities and pressures, with goals and ambitions,

Children think we are supposed to be perfect without flaws, but the truth is we never stop learning, or growing and we can never truly know all there is to know in1 lifetime with limited memories we are steered aware from, encouraged to forget in this world today. I am not going to get political here at this time.

This is where we should seek a higher vibration to try to stand in a point to view all in a way that you would like to be viewed, this can only work in all honesty and often this building can fail due to the inequity workers , heathens and vampires that are in the mix of our circle’s that have not exposed their selves yet. The higher vibration means to rise ourselves up to a point we can see further into the distance , sort of like seeing into the future.

If we are on a mountain that can see as far as 2 days walk ahead of us, and we see a serious storm coming , those in the forest would not know of these dangers until the very second this storm is upon them,  for those on that mountain can tell the future by their elevations and can warn those in the forest of what is coming towards them giving it 2 days notice in preparation to reach for safety, and insight or intuition of those in the forest would know instinctively truth, by looking at other elements around you, and receiving the feeling you get from that for guidance in your next few choices,

I mean this is not without risk for the person on the mountain to manipulate and cause false alarms for their own reasons and gains, sometimes the only way to know for sure is to go and look for yourself , to raise yourself so you have the ability to see how they see this future.

Anyway .

I always say time is the master and the key and people can only pretend for so long, it take s more energy and is more draining to pretend than to be true to yourself , you also have to have a good memory that gets tired and lazy with time.  Especially when we have to deal with the conflict , or a realization that we have not been true to ourselves or others , the fear of being exposed can make one become armed, on guard and dangerous, so much so we are seeing the effects of these lies and untruth in the world today on all levels,

The key upon the awakening is always strive to be self and not fear other peoples opinions when you try to radiate yourself to the full potential .

A wise man showed me , it is better to be hurt by your honesty than to be pleased by your lies, a liar is a thief that steals your time in accordance to their growth in the moment that will always be short lived as it is not in truth, whereas the truth is accepted for all value , consideration the bravery , the courage and the knowledge that we all make mistakes in our nature to push the boundaries and live in the moment where we all grow from ,

The most high knows I have pushed a few boundaries myself and had to confront them, that can be seen in the perception of another an act of stupidity, or sacrifice for the fear of someone not accepting your mistakes during your growth , some would choose to lie in the name of protecting another’s feelings , where in reality you become a thief of their time and energies from that moment onwards when we chose to hide the truth. ..

It is not telling lies if you have gone down a certain road that may effect another and realized the potential mistake before the mistake is made , where realization has become clear and the mistake avoided therefore energies is not needed to bring to the light as the mistake did not manifest. Therefore the effect from the mistake that could have caused harm to another is not happen.. just be thankful the real-eyes-action and your self discipline saved you and your self respect before any harm done..

What ever the case you/we call crossing the line, these are all set for ourself, by our own perceptions , never on the perceptions of others or they become the controlling factors of our lives that will be the beginning of loosing self…

We should not be made to feel guilty for our mistakes during our growth , especially when we have had the courage to confront, tell the truth , to live in the reality it takes the growth to the next level , as far as I am concerned I choose to start as I mean to go on though it is my choice to change my mind.  I have learned from my past, ( indeed still learning from it as I learn to forgive, I cannot forget)  and will continue to learn with my future in all honesty for  pleasure and pain I can only be true to people and myself, and communicate throughout so we always know where we stand, All I ask is for that vibration to be given back to me ,

I do give to receive,  simple!  not anything monetarily, every action has a reaction and I treat people how I want to be treated. I want people to treat me how they want to be treated, if they are treating me how I would not want to treated then I will separate from that energy. With no energies put into that motion..

We have to be really aware and careful how we are treating people. Also be aware that there are messed up people out there , that take advantage any way they can, just because they can and do not have the same energies or respect for those energies as you have.

When I feel I am being treated in a certain way , I have to take a reality check of my own actions to think, what caused this?  am I insecure because I have it in my heart to project these energies onto someone else?

To recognize energies is to create change according to how you want perceive the outcome, be true to yourself first. Live in reality and check yourself if you find you are the reason why you are attracting these energies you are vibration, realize if you do not like how it feels, therefore do not continue to radiate this energy, sooner or later things will balance out to bring an outcome of radiating energies you in joy receiving.

Acceptance is again knowing we are not all perfect , and will make mistakes, the perfection comes in realizing mistakes and correcting the balance. BeinG honest to self and others in all we project.  The Most High vibration within ourselves can recognize this and correct the balance and restore truth before our energies spin out of control.  It takes a lot of inner strength and self discipline to change and Be(-in-G) the those changes we want to see in the world.

Is it right to build with more than one person and who sets the boundaries to say that we have crossed the boundaries.?

Is it practical or even safe to build with more than one energy especially within a personal interaction and intimacy when balancing our spiritual vibrations to today’s society?

What about the spiritual , absolute connection with the divinity in one, could that be broken if another spirit energy interferes? Or is it is possible to have that connection with more than one person??  Is it then considered as Absolute?, absolute to me means “All of” or “Entire” ., how can it be absolute if it is shared ????..

In this world where it is condemned in today’s perception where the net creates rules and regulations for follow so the system can keep track and under control these energies. Conditioned in ignorance to say multiple energies are not right and accepted?

Yet the world lives by double standards and contradictions to all the rulings that have been imposed on us?

Its not wonder I am confused? Unsure? Lost?  And more !!! How do we expect to teach the children right from wrong when faced with such double standards and a do as I say not as I do vibration? Where are the examples if we are to follow?

I think maybe we have to be the example if we can’t see the same energies that suit our soul.. who knows? Just a thought!!

Is it right or fair for a man to be able to build with multiple energies yet it is not “proper” for a woman to build in the same way?

If honesty is presented in the first place and all the way through these sharing of energies where you have given another the opportunity to choose whether they want to accept the mixture of energies, yet we are growing and changing, what was agree’d upon and accepted in the first place throughout the years we change and seek more ,something different maybe, is it fair on the person to expect them to adapt to the changes you are going through when the have alack of understanding of what it happening, yet they have shown you love and dedication throughout their time interacting with you?

If that was the case would you do to keep the building going with all these multiple people and how would you encourage and motivate the multiple people to say with you or your world to continue to build?

What if the different energies and different levels with each person that the other are not able to fulfill,  Where different energies interacts with you on a professional, intimate, soul, friendship, relaxing, parental, home, marital, level, multiple people can interact on multiple levels?

Questions, so many questions …  the answers are in self somewhere..  still searching my soul..

Thank you if you joined me for a moment with my thoughts and energies..

Htp, Namaste, peace and 1 love..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bLltt5cPDOc&feature=player_embedded < beautiful 🙂

BeINenerGy


Windows to my soul : Soul Searching.

by Naomi Tammi Palmer on Thursday, 12 August 2010 at 20:24

 

I have been some real soul searching lately, who I am, What I represent, The people who I come into contact with and the energies I project onto people, eveything I am when I connect people have a cause and effect, as indeed when people interact with me has an effect on me too. where within my own being I am left to balance this out,  to keep and discard what is agreeable /disagreeable to the energies I would like to see in the world.

“Be the change we want to see in the world”, therefore I look for energies and for their representations of that change.

I sit here and go through the whole spectrum of emotion aiming to get to the root source of my soul so I can project the real representation of me for me to radiate and reunite with all around me as we are one.  We are the rulers and creators of our own destiny, we are the universe therefore change has to start with self.

The type of change that considers all energies, all representations of these energies, awareness of all energies their causes and their effects , the acceptance of opposites giving in all value and consideration,  in my search I seek to maintain balance, respect and awareness of all, earth, sea, sky, life forms and spirit.

On the surface within this system we live in , I can be just as prejudiced as the next person, I mean with everything , I can see something and not like it straight away therefore I prejudge what is behind the surface.  so many, including me can judge upon first sight and anyone that tells me that have never done this is lying.  This could be with food, with people, looks, disability, shape or size of a person, beauty, ugly, anything and everything can be prejudged, what is different from our own perceptions, teaching, conditioning, societies views and energies outside self.  even our own energies of ego can cause us to prejudge as it might mean we have to admit sometimes we are wrong in our prejudice.

When by some fate we scratched the surface of our perceptions and realised actually there was more energies, more insight, indeed more depth to what was first viewed on the surface. Not forgetting that sometimes when we scratch deeper than the surface we can find just cause for our prejudice’s wishing sometimes we had never scratched the surface in the first place.  but only when we are open minded enough to scratch the surface will we truly know the outcome, this removing the ignorance that set forth the prejudice in the first place.

I am human, flaws and all I am not perfect nor do I claim to be. I am a person who feels energies, When I look inside of self I do not see people, colour, race, religion, politics, gender, age, disabilities, human, plants, animals and other living creatures/life forms who may present themselves in my eyesight. I see energies and vibrations in life forms that can be agreeable / disagreeable sometimes both in my perception,

What we see and what another see’s may be different in each of our perceptions therefore may not always be right and exact to different peoples representation of their perceptions..  This will not be agreeable to all, yet is all is a part of the root sourse therfore should be respected in its own entirity.

The most disagreeable force to me I have encountered to date is the divide and rule concept ..  if I have to know hate in order to know  love to create balance with inside self , That would be one of many forces I absolutely hate to see as we all are equal are one and the same, with the same significance. See even hate can be agreeable in a positive spirit as I have said all energies have to be respected to maintain balance. ,

I feel the energies from people from their representation and I will speak on my perception of what I see, not only with my eyes, but what I see when I close my eyes and look within myself to figure out the ultimate truth that resides in me at this moment in time called now.

We are constantly changing and with more availability of information the scope of lessons to learn are massive , can sometimes be overwhelming and can cause confusion to the mind that has forgotton the focus, or may not even have the focus to connect with in the first place, in this case it seems and even to my own experience, without guidance there is no direction,  indeed in my growing up I have been so lost in the confusion my only choice from a young age was to look inside self and to be as often as I can the smile on someone’s face. so often we have been conditioned to look outside ourself for our guidance we forget to look inside self for the final answers therefore we loose ourself and our own identity, basically we become reformed to conform .. loosing our own “being” almost completely.

“Stand for something, do not fall for anything” but this philosophy when coupled with the need to be a part of something is a contradictory to itself/oneself , as indeed many fall for anything just to say they stand for something.   there is a flip side to all we encounter , as above, so below, as outside so with in and we, or should I say I am aiming to keep this statement when viewing other energies. from within , from without.

when I see flaws in others energies , I look for my own, when I see flaws in ones representations I look for my own,  when I see the radiations of ones love, I look for my representation of the same frequency as I connect,  just as outside forces come to be and highlight my flaws I look into that before refusing that I have any, but I also look into the outside forces that are highlighting my flaws to see theirs and how they represent self.  just as if forces of the the Most High Come to me and see my energies , their approach and all the essence reminds me of who I am, why I am here, and most of all my focus to be reunited with all , in unity, in love, complete.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QqVBGv2hpQ4 Say I am You ( Sufi Poem : Rumi )

I am not perfect.  I am the first to admit that, I am the most self critical and self analytical more than any outside force can be of me, insecurities and confidence that change in different vibrations when in different environments is what allows positive and negative forces to effect me, from when I am strong, to when I am not so strong, from when I see, from when I am blind,  when I am at my lowest moments all my sences come into shield me as all that I am seeks to be better than I am in my current moment.

My direction sometimes splits into to paths , into 2 minds, or even more , where my essences go’s ahead of me before my physical, before my knowledge , strictly guided by my instinct and intuition that comes from the root source of our own universe which is self.

Choices…

I am looking both inside of self and in my perception of the outside energies to complete, and for completion of self I look for the purest and root source of divinity, the absolute, the completion. I am looking for the closest representation of that. especially in my counterpart and in my friends. I see and feel the energies from within when I am faced with the outside forces, and my connections is ever growing ever changes as I evolve into more of a spiritual being ..

when I was small , I always felt like I did not belong “here”, wherever “here” was, I just felt that I did not belong. I felt the guidance I received was not always connecting with my feelings therefore I became rebellious.  a mission without a cause, without a focus, not knowing why I am sailing through the sea life like a ship without a rudder. yet I always connected and responded to love and knew when and what it was presented without negative motives … I recognise the purity in people intentions and it really hurts to see so many impurities when on the surface all looks beautiful .

I have never really sought religion as I have has some real bad experiences from a young age from so called righteous and spiritual people who claim to be a part of their religion,   upon viewing the people that caused harm and pain to me , their representation of what they stood for, what they believed and had faith in , I lost my search for Faith , for belief. for religion as I did not want to be a part of that.  Music became my religion , beautiful tones and messages of love, promise and feelings are what guided me and moved me to a position, to a path that I find my self today, Roots and Rastafarian Culture, Classical, Soul, Rhythm and Blues , so much more. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DfZcvHa4-jA

Blinded by my own ignorance, or awakened by experience that was caused by a few bad memories anyone that said they were of these religious doctrines witness I did not trust. as all I thought was a manipulation to gain position to hurt or harm , have control over another.   I know now that not all who say they were of these religious doctrines are not all the same, as some with all the essence of love in their heart  represent self in their own belief system that works for them so I prejudge people from any faith or belief system no more,..

There are positive representations and negative miss representations in every school of thought and religion.

Upon my search for divinity, a system that helps me sleep at night I have been confused, my religion became love,  just love, just making people smile, helping people stand who have fallen , or who are worse than me , compassion .  empathy, I care for people,  the planet, animals, trees, plants, my awareness expanding my consciousness and the ways ways to be more compassionate and caring of our whole environment on a wider perspective..

I have met so many people here on Facebook and in my life, some have been negative, disturbing, upsetting experiences, and more. but for the most part those who have really taken time to interact have had a positive effect,  even positive after the negative for I learn quick with those life lessons.  upon my search for spiritual ascension I have met a lot of people like mind, who have the same philosophies as me, they come to same conclusions , and expand my mind as I may do theirs with even a brief interaction, this is interesting to me as we converse to find out how they come to be on this path. and what in life has bought them here..

Answers to my questions has come from many different schools of life..  but the past 2 years of my life I have come across new schools of thought that has really transformed me.  Ancient teachings and awareness of roots and cultures from all over the globe has helped me immensely on my personal growth.  even more so lately the people I am drawn to and who are drawn to me who I have connected with upon first impressions , when I have asked them how they come to be of this mindset I hear words like Elohim,  Elyown  Elyown EL and indeed Allah.  I searched and researched about these names , to say who are these beings that spark so much righteousness in people.  Names of the Most High , titles of positions of Prophets, and more I am still looking into. searching ..

I have talked to people who have grown n the path of metaphysics , different schools of mediation , from Chinese, to Hinduism, from Buddhism to Jewish . all have depths and a spirituality that has bought them to the same path I walk upon. Considering I did not devote or commit my life to any of these schools of thought, I wonder how I got on this path . I really could not tell you, as I was not bought up with any. maybe Christian as it was the most common religion from where we was from , on forms to fill out our mother would put Church of England. Though until i was older I never knew what that meant. Christmas and Easter was customary to the environment so I did not know any different , though I never felt any vibrations from this label. from within that box of religion.

I hear words like “La ilaha illa Allah wa-Muhammad rasul Allah”. There is no god but God and Muhammad is the prophet of God. ,Inshallah “If God Wills”  Alhamdulillah “Praise to God” or “All praise is due to Allah,” similar to the Hebrew phrase Halelu Yah ( Yahweh , Yahwah, YHWH ) How is it I was kept from these schools of thoughts all my life?? where all I see with these vibrations from a persons perspective view from outside looking in , the beauty of unity, of love, compassion and collaboration to build in the love of all,  I know there will be mis representations  as there is with everything as I said before but the essence I see is simply beautiful. This is just the beginning of my journey on this path also..

I am defining the point to where I am at now.. I have walked this earth and grew so alone while I look around and see people in a belief system that has done wonders for their’s and their families lives , people smile and laugh in unity and praises for their representation of self and their God , their Creator. I have been open to all vibrations never really wanted to commit to any school of thought,  I never was forced to choose. My Parents belief system was not forced upon us, we was left to some respect to find our own..

Commitment,  seems so final , it feels like I am to choose between different vibrations, schools of thought and live with those choices and decisions until my end of days. I have always been afraid of commitment because I thought it would put me inside a box that would make it forbidden for me to experience life outside that box.  With Islam, I see it is a choice, It is a way of life, a discipline, a representation of your spirituality. unity, dedication, a community that is so much more than a commitment. the search for divinity and to be at one with that.  I feel the calling .. see the beauty .  Sufism a deep spiritual vibrations that are beyond my vocabulary to choose the words in English to describe the energies I feel from that.  tones I hear and I do not even understand the language that the tones are vibrating in yet I feel them now more then ever,  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bJvLnAvGglY

I am not sure what is happening to me at this time .  maybe this is another vibration I experience on my personal path of life. the more I see/hear and feel  the more I want to know.  I came to learn more about Islam through Nuwaupu . as I am learning about more religions. Searching …  Still searching ..  where do I start !!  I am simply being in the energy of self , does that mean I have to commit to one . when all are one . the root source just the the first beam of light that enters into a prism , and then separates into different colours, the spectrum of life. , ..  I want to be the prism itself ..  receiving the energies from the root source to then display and radiate the different colours, to vibrate on the whole spectrum of life ..

BeINenerGy

Prism of Love : Rays of love is spread in many different ways into many different shades but all comes from the root source xXx love is our bond and it is unfailing from when its truly felt from the deepest darkest parts of our soul .. love you all.


 

Windows to my Soul . Limbo.. where am I ?

by Naomi Tammi Palmer on Tuesday, 11 May 2010 at 23:53
 

Limbo! Describe this place.. could I? A place where you do not know if you are coming or going , if you have been there or gone , a place where you stand in total confusion .
A place when you realize nothing is as it seems , a place of not knowing the direction of when you hear your heart scream. A place where you do not see the top, nor do you see the bottom, not knowing the true past because proof has been burned or forgotten..

What we have learned through out our existence, only to find out we have to start again because systems set up in pretence. To find out my roots are not a representation of who I am today. Not knowing what is in store for me as I choose not to life that way. What about moments in the past I cannot change, Oh I would change a lot if it was within my power range. A system we rebuke because non seem quite right, I struggle to find a system that lets me sleep at night. We all have a system to follow, the most universal is the solar, where we all learned to live and breath given life by that bright star ..
How do we bring this vibration down to earth, when before we were born History raped the earth .. how can you give back to the innocence once taken , how can you repent those already forsaken .. oh what wickedness , betrayal , evilous vibez , they robbed, they stole ,they raped and told lies.. Limbo! where is this place?, is it safe or not, because I am not sure if I ever knew or if I just forgot. Alone in this place I look for support. I realize there is not, I feel distraught. With no focus to aim and no ground to stand on. Where is the foundation I am to grow from ? Limbo .. which way to go?

Religion I look for the purest representation , I look at different cultures , different nations . do we need religion? some say no. but everyone talks about God, and is a peace with their flow.. The way I was bought up , lies and more lies, I don’t know if on purpose or I was told through blind eyes .. like a ship without a rudder , my course is out of control .. like a spinning compass , is this limbo..

I see different realms of life , existence, I vibrate high on my subconscious. Yet my conscious reality is different .. on the higher plane there is harmony and peace, there is unity and love , the alignment , life, where words without spoken are heard and felt, where a need is filled without having to ask , I see my role in that very task , empathy and feeling , people respected and healing , where birth is not death it is only the beginning , where my insight is clear the compass stops spinning and I see a world a place I want to live in.. A spiritual essence of life itself. Telekinetic, intergalactic, the oneness we are one,,

I am in Limbo, is this reality, when I wake up and see , the people passing living out their lives , living a life that is in disguise of the truth… what is truth? A manipulated vision of a vibration that is outside ourselves ? .. this is my conscious realm I see, the news broadcasts how many people got killed, looting , shooting, stealing with wars at Gods will ? of people dying of starvation , people living in segregation , race, creed , culture , monetary status divides so some can conquer . This is conscious? Are we conscious? Or are we asleep? Is this right ? or is my perception the wrong way round..

Limbo, Its lonely in this place, I look to find a familiar face, I see the odd one or two, that see and perceive as I do. to make it hard they are spread far and wide, seems forces work hard to try keep the divide. if only my physical could travel like my mind, the unique souls I seek , like me like mind, is it only on this higher plane I recognise them, because people change the more we descend into the conscious physical state, where people forget love and more vibrate with hate, with greed , chase money for the survival story, where people live is riches and bask in their glory. would I care if I was there about the little people who suffer and struggle down there? I think so. because their vibration I know, I live in the conscious and I see clear, while I ache for the people blinded by fear.. how is it I see , realms split like a prism, are they in prison mentally bound by what? if their mind is free then the boundaries exist not.

so she says! within these words,

how is it? these different realms I see, I see 1 and 2 well more than 3 . Counting each realm living simultaneously, each inter connected though they cannot meet, you have to shed the salty suit to reach the sweet sea. be free, .. it is our birth right to awaken , not to be used and abused and forsaken .. Limbo, I am here finding my way, all I can do is live righteous each day. I will find my place on where I belong, Everyday I seek inside the strength to stay strong, with persistence and courage , instinct and insight. I rest with my subconscious as my guidance and light.

A soul on my own seeking to connect, fear in not a boundary , fear should not reside in me , this subject sometimes I forget on this lower plane, does this make sense or am I insane? do you recognise the place I see, if you do then come and find me, guide me , do not try to confine, especially my mind , or an escape I will seek, mind freedom I find ..

It is natural for 1 to seek their soul , to connect with another heart to feel whole. the perfect combination to rid the separation , the fulfilment found once in a lifetime, we try and fail so many times. Divine in essence are those that fulfil , who cross every boarder to reach the top of that hill. filled with obstacles , trials, tribulations and challenge. this is where the conscious and re-arrange, the connection of heart, mind, body, spirit and soul ,where the love, trust, honesty, truth, become whole. In limbo I am frustrated for I see, the one who I know can complete me and indeed I seek to do for him , in limbo I persist I will not give in.

..…. More to follow .. to be continued

 

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3 Commentsto Windows To My Soul

  1. aAnuu Maalik says:

    Human Design… http://jovianarchive.com/Newcomers
    DOWNLOAD… http://jovianarchive.com/Software/Maia_Mechanics_Imaging#downloads A holistic view of the world

    All living beings are part of a single holistic field and therefore all of us continually interact with each other and the world around us. We are not separate but are part of the whole. We are connected to the whole by tiny particles called neutrinos and we are connected to the other by aura, the invisible energy field that surrounds each of us.

    If we see ourselves as separate from our environment and those around us, it is easy to assume that the way we interact and communicate is something that we can control or that can happen or not, according to our will. That every decision we make is up to us and is made independently from our environment. This is not the case.

    Uniqueness

    We are each part of the whole, but we are also unique. We each bring our own brand of uniqueness to the other and the world around us. This is our gift to the whole. Being different from the other, we bring something new into the world.

    • Samuel says:

      It became very clear to me that no matetr what we have to do to concentrate on our desires it is a very necessary thing for our desires to manifest. Continue to manifest wonderful things .Believe,Mark J

  2. Kiana says:

    Superbly ilumlinating data here, thanks!

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